Little girl. When I began to work with Israel Yunger in May of 1997, I was still a child. A little naïve. Very sidelined. Second year in the faculty. No, I didn’t know a lot. I started right from the beginning. Luckily, Israel was a natural teacher. He loves to teach. He would dictate to me, explain things, take me to courthouse hearings. So I learned. And he released me. Threw me into the water very quickly. I had no choice, so I swam. As I swam, I grew stronger, accumulated experience and became a real fish in the sea. Where did my confidence come from? I had none. But he had my back. Every little girl needs one adult who believes in her.
My niece and I back then
Meeting. A few years go by. I’m still working with Yunger. A young attorney. A little more confidence. Handling the case against an insurance company of a little girl who was thrown from a car and severely injured. I leave a message for: “whoever has replaced the claims department manager who just left the position”. A few days later, Shlomo Eliyau is on the line. The real Shlomo Eliahu. Negotiations. The case is closed and he invites me to meet with him. “During the courts yearly recess,” I say to him. With self-confidence that is gradually building, I add: “If you would still like to then, I would be delighted. But I won’t be in Tel Aviv until then.” And no, it wasn’t a strategy.
In July, after I verified that he remembered who I was and was still interested, I drove to the Tel Aviv.
Dream. We had a long, fascinating conversation. Where do you aspire to get to, he asked me. And I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t know. He told me I should know, and expanded: “Not two years from now or two years from then, this position or another. Imagine yourself 40 years on, looking back. What will have given you satisfaction? I’m going to London this week, I’ll call you when I get back. I’d be happy to help you attain whatever you wish.” A week passed, and I chose not to take him up on his generous offer. I preferred to remain with Israel for a while, and expand my family a little. In my opinion, I had already received what I needed. Especially at the beginning of the road, everyone needs someone inspiring who believes in them.
Dreaming and achieving. Years go by with much activity. I’ve swum so much that the borders between fish and water are blurred. You aren’t a fish in the sea anymore – you are the ocean itself. I gained confidence. Life had worn away my naivete bit by bit. You could see it in my eyes. My expression had changed, deepened, grown a little tired. Decisions were made easily. You have the feeling you’re leading your life now. An independent woman, trusting yourself. It’s wonderful. Because every woman needs someone to believe in them.
Crashing. You discover that your control was an illusion. In the beginning, you still struggle. Pull out all types of tools, everything you have. You tell yourself with confidence, “I can do it , I can do it, I can do it”. Slowly you go silent. Lose your strength. Let go. With every blow to your ego, you let go a little more. Sometimes you cry. Sometimes you are quiet. Sometimes you quietly whisper “I can’t do it anymore”. Bruised. One day you’re the ocean, and the next you’re a baby fish flapping on the beach. Swimming back to the sea. Becoming the ocean…flapping again. Life.
Baby fish. About eighteen months ago, Lula came home with an English composition in her hand. “They asked me to write about someone I admire,” she says, handing me the composition to read. From the very first sentence, I had tears in my eyes. She had chosen me. I continue to read:
“What I admire most about my mom is that even after failures, tears and wounds that closed and opened over and over again, she stayed strong. Doesn’t matter how many break downs she had, she always found the light at the end of the tunnel and got back to her sweet, loving self. In addition, she goes after what she wants, no matter what people say, she follows her dreams doesn’t matter how long it takes to get there. She doesn’t give up. Not after the wound opens again, not after she doesn’t get what she wants after the hundredth time, not even after being broken so many times.
In conclusion, I admire my mom not for her successes, but rather for her ability to get up on her feet after failures.”
Serenity. Jalal ad-Din Rumi said that light penetrates through our wounds. That way, it isn’t taken for granted. It’s the end of the year and I feel so blessed. A circle has closed. Every woman needs one little girl who believes in her. And I say, if you don’t have Lula, be Lula yourself. Sometimes a child and sometimes a parent. In any case we are all both.
Shana Tova* to all mothers and daughters. Be good to yourselves. Shana Tova to all fathers and sons. Be good to yourselves. Shana Tova to all those who succeed in believing in others and in themselves. Shana Tova and thank you to all who have, however briefly, believed in me.
